because lately ive been doing a whole lot of not giving a fuck about anything.

but whatever, maybe im supposed to not care about anything anymore.

there are so many things that were left unsaid, and too many things that shouldn’t have been said; but either way, i think that we both know how important we were to each other. things will be hard being so different, but i will be ok. its going to be hard for me because of how things worked out. i hope you feel like shit, because you should. you broke me, changed me, and ruined me all while making me feel amazing at the same time. you confused me to the point where i didnt know what to do. i will miss you so much, and you know that. i know that i meant something to you, which is why this is so hard for me. i know i fucked up, but you did too. we both made decisions that shouldnt have been made, and said and did things too.

for me, i really thought things were going to work out differently. i dont know what to do. i really don’t. i don’t want to change things and my routines just to avoid you. but i probably will. i hate what things have become, and i know they will only get worse. my life was easier with you in it. things just seemed to click, and it fell into a phase where everything was exciting, fun, and made me feel happy. i just have one thing left that i haven’t told you; i hate you. i hate you so much. i hate you so much for making me love you. you have been such an important part of my life for the past 5 years, and its weird to think that i wont have you in the next five. 

goodbye. xo.